Friday, July 13, 2007

Email to God

To: God@heaven.com
CC: Michael Fish
Subject: Unnecessary punishment


Dear God,

look, i know we've had our disagreements in the past. I know I've never been to church and I've had sex outside of marriage. I know I occasionally take your name in vain and make fun of your more devoted followers... but really, isn't this taking things a bit far? I mean punish me, fine. Maybe a few warts or a bad hair day. But an entire summer of rain?! dude, that's just taking the piss! I mean for god's sake.. opps, sorry.. for fuck's sake, aren't you supposed to be all forgiving and shit? And what really gets to me is the way that you throw in a couple of sunny days midweek, just to get our hopes up, before pissing all over us Friday through Sunday! Is that fair? Is that benevolent? No! It's just plain mean! So please, get over it, or I am going to become an atheist, and let's face it, if we all become atheists it makes no difference whether you exist or not, no one's gonna give a shit, so there!

yours expectantly,

Billy.

2 comments:

Ben Richards said...

You tell him, he's got to listen now.

Billy said...

Given the events of the past few days I think it's probably best not to get pissed off with God. He tried to make out he'd changed, but he's still Old Testament through and through. Right, I'm off to build an Ark...